Weekly Thoughts

7/6/06 – Decision Making Process

Hi all,

My last 'Weekly Thoughts' was on May 4th if memory serves, and I appreciate all the emails and phone calls wondering how I was doing and what was going on. Over the last 2 months I had a lot of ministry trips and 2 driving trips to Florida and back for my mom's final illness and death (she knew the Lord), and just haven't felt ready to say anything. Thanks for your patience.

However, since 5/4 we've had many ministry inquiries which have been added to this email list, and to those who have newly inquired about CWOWI I welcome you! I send out a "Weekly Thoughts" roughly weekly, and I hope they will bless you and make you think. Now to my thoughts for this week...it's good to be back.

For over 25 years of ministry I've been fascinated by the decision making process in people...why do some people go on into maturity in Christ and others do not? What makes a person ready to give their lives to the Lord?

When Jesus commanded the disciples to go into all nations and make disciples by "...teaching them to observe and to do whatsoever I've commanded you" there is an underlying foundation in 2 parts upon which the Great Commission rests: The first is that they want to observe and to do what Jesus says, and underlying that, is that they want to be taught.

Without these 2 elements in place within a person there can be no discipleship. They must be teachable, and they must want to obey Jesus. You can't have one without the other.

If you have a teachable person but they fall short of wanting to obey Jesus, they will not go on in God. If you have a person who says they love Jesus but aren't teachable, they really aren't a disciple at all, and their salvation may be questionable.

Being teachable, being open to someone speaking into our lives is therefore the lowest layer of foundation upon which the discipleship process is built.

Things in this world proceed from the natural to the spiritual...we are born physically and then we are born again spiritually. We learn natural things first...how to crawl, how to eat, how to walk, how to talk, then and perhaps alongside in many households, we are taught spiritual things of God.

For instance, if a person is stubborn against the things of God, that element isn't really the whole story. That person is first not willing to have people close enough to them to speak into their lives in natural things, God is just the greatest of these they don't want too close to them.

This is because once you become teachable it means letting others, God included, touch you emotionally and in your thought processes, and that is new territory to many; territory some don't want anyone trespassing upon.

At a traditional church we were pastoring there was a young couple that seemed to have everything going for them; 3 kids, professionals, active in church. But the husband told me that 6 years earlier in their marriage he had an affair, and then when his wife found out she had an affair to spite him.

It was in this turmoil they got born again and started on the road to wholeness. Yet the husband told me that in public his wife was one person and at home she was another, always holding his affair over him...denying sexual relations between them, abusive to the kids and him and so forth. Yet he told me: My wife can't know that I'm telling you this, she would be furious because she doesn't want to deal with it."

How does a person commit their heart and life to the Lord yet refuse to allow him to change them, to deal with issues in their life that needs to be brought to the cross? What makes them honor God and love him in all areas except one?

It goes back to the 2 elements I mentioned above: This wife didn't want to be taught about how to overcome unforgiveness and bitterness because that would lead to the next element, she would have to do what Jesus said to do...forgive...and that would mean walking it out, trusting him one step at a time and taking a risk of being hurt again.

In the natural she was a wonderful teacher. She taught elementary school, but she was always right in all she taught and how she taught and the ways she taught...no one could tell her a better way or that the philosophy behind the way (math for instance) was flawed or not working for their child. She was always right and it was the child's fault if he/she didn't learn.

She was unteachable in the natural and she was unteachable in the spiritual as well.

During my first day moving into the fraternity at Indiana University in 1976 my roommate saw my Bible and said, "Oh, you're a Bible banger!" I wasn't familiar with the phrase so he explained, "You know, you bang people over the head with a Bible: Get saved! Get saved!"

But the reality is that neither Jesus nor the apostles Bible banged people into a commitment to the Lord.

In Matthew 10:14 Jesus told the disciples to go where they are celebrated, telling them to leave if they aren't received or they won't hear their words.

In Acts 13:44-48 Paul preached Jesus to some Jews in Antioch of Pisidia but when they resisted he told them that since they judged themselves unworthy of eternal life he and Barnabus were going to minister to the Gentiles, who were very happy and received Jesus willingly.

Paul also experienced this on Mars Hill in Athens (Acts 17). They listened to him until he spoke of the resurrection of the dead, and then some mocked, though a handful believed. The rest told Paul to come back tomorrow to tell them more. They were just looking for entertainment, so Paul left them. They were teachable to a point, but when Paul stepped over the invisible line in their minds (the resurrection of the dead), they backed off from going further, so Paul left.

Again we see the 2 elements mentioned above: A person must want to follow Jesus, and under that they must first be teachable. Teachability opens the door to being a disciple of Jesus. The Jews of Antioch listened to Paul to a point, then they backed off. The Greeks on Mars Hill listened to a point, then backed off.

We see this 2-part process in Mark 12:28-34 when Jesus is being examined by various religious leaders right before his death. A scribe came to Jesus and asked which is the greatest of all commandments? Jesus answered that it was to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind, and the 2nd is to love your neighbor as yourself. They had a conversation on the topic and then Jesus said to him: "You are not far from the kingdom of God."

For years I sought answers from the Lord about why he didn't press the case for the man...if he wasn't far from the kingdom why didn't Jesus press the issue so the man would become a follower of Jesus? If I believed everything I'd been told about the need for me to always everywhere try to bring people to Jesus, why did Jesus bring the man to the brink and then move on? What are the factors involved with "closing the deal" on a person's prayer for salvation?

I believe the answer is found in the 2 parts...the man was teachable, but he wasn't (yet) ready to obey Jesus, so Jesus met him where he was and left it at that. He wasn't far from the kingdom, but he wasn't ready to take build on the foundation of teachability to the point of obeying Jesus' words, so Jesus backed off and didn't push it.

Today we see people who are teachable...they are seekers, they are looking for someone to speak into their lives, but they stop at the next step which is to obey what Jesus said.

The Great Commission implies not a once in your life teachability, but rather a life-long process of continual input from the Lord. We disciples are life long students of Jesus.

I don't know about you, but when I turned my life and heart over to the Lord when I was a teenager the Lord didn't tell me about the changes in my life he would ask me to make.

In the same way Jesus told Peter to 'follow me and I'll make you a fisher of men', but left out the part that his life would end in martyrdom; Jesus doesn't tell us how he's going to ask us to think differently, act differently, and be willing to always be learning and growing as a person. We just ask Jesus into our hearts because we want to be right with God, little knowing the growth process we would be asked to embark upon.

He didn't tell me that change is normal and complacency was dangerous.

And that brings me 'round to my initial question; why do some people go on into maturity in Christ and some do not?

Assuming my hypothesis is at least partly correct, that a person is first teachable (seeking) and then willing to obey Jesus' words which allow him to respond to Christ and become new creatures in him; Peter still exhorted the disciples to be like newborn babes and desire the 'sincere milk of the Word that you may grow thereby" (I Peter 2:2) He had to tell them to desire the pure milk of the Word that they may grow.

Paul said in Galatians 4:19 that he travailed in birth AGAIN for Christ to be formed in them...indicating that the growth required as a life-long student and disciple of Christ is painful at times.

These passages indicate that teachability and the desire to obey Jesus though initially coming from within, is also helped along by others speaking into our lives. In the above cases the 2 greatest apostles exhort people to stir themselves up in their desire to grow, and to go through the painful process, similar to labor pains, of growth in Christ. Leaders are always wanting the people they serve to grow up in the things of God!

This means that one way a person can decide not to let God teach them (for they would have to obey) is to shut people off from their lives. If no leader or no one is speaking into their lives then they can't be asked to grow, and if they can't be asked to grow then they don't have to obey Christ's Words...keeping God and people at a distance.

Righteousness does certainly come through Christ, yet it's unproven unless that righteousness is walked out in the midst of relationships. In a traditional church a person may remain anonymous in the pew if they desire, moving on to another church if the people get too close or they don't agree with the pastor. In the (what I've been calling) Relationship Based Christianity of home based churches the issues are the same, but we attempt to walk out the issues with one another, truly getting to know one another and walking in love with each other. We need each other and must be willing to walk through and look beyond personality differences and the like and discover what Paul said in Galatians 2:9---perceive the grace of God (in each other).

Years ago a lady in a large church put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. She was active in the choir and taking a class or 2 in the church Bible school, yet she had no one to talk to, and worse yet no one knew her well enough to know that she was in danger. Why was she so alone surrounded by hundreds and thousands?

Years ago I got a call from a man in charge of a department at a large church: "I'm surrounded by people but I'm lonely" was his plea for help. Why is traditional church all about the business of the church instead of people? Where are the strong relationships that lend themselves to discipleship and teachability?

When I was a teenager I had a friend named Mike who was adopted at birth. He walked past an old man's house everyday on his way to and from school. My friend even mowed the old man's yard to pick up a few extra dollars. One day the old man died and my friend was told that man was his grandfather and he had left him several hundred thousand dollars.

In hindsight it is easy to see that the Lord had arranged it that Mike was born again and on his way to growing in Christ when all this broke loose in his life. We tried our best to help him through the revelations brought on by this turn of events, but he turned away and went pretty wild in the world with his new found wealth. To this day I don't know what happened to him. 

I can see the Lord's hand in Mike's life, yet the desire to grow in Christ, to seek Him as the Healer of emotions and giver of wisdom was not as strong as the hurt and temptations of the world, and Mike made wrong decisions.

His life illustrates the difficulties we each have in growth in Christ. There is an emotional battle often fought between the spiritual hunger and decision to follow Christ no matter the cost, and the emotions of picking up and moving on, or shutting people out, or backing away in one little area, protecting it from God and man. 

It's just so much easier to say someone is wrong or hurt me or offended me or state some other such excuse to hide behind. It's much more difficult to push on through and value the relationships above what you think is right or wrong in a person's life; yet those are the decisions we make to go on to the next level of maturity in Christ and as humans, or not.

When my (then girlfriend) wife and I made the commitment to follow the Lord though we didn't know everything that lay ahead, we did so fully understanding it was a life long commitment to growth as individuals and to growth in Christ.

When I see people back away from growth opportunities (otherwise called problems or conflicts or issues) I am saddened not for me, but for them because they have fallen back on a promise they no doubt made to the Lord, to do anything for him, to love him and serve him no matter the cost.

People want to experience God and have wonderful fellowship with him, yet our fellowship with Jesus is based on his sufferings, not his glorification. We will have a time of fellowship based on glorification when Jesus rules and reigns over the earth, but for now our fellowship with him is based on his suffering for us. Therefore to know him is to experience suffering, and that is the place he meets us. If you want to truly fellowship with Jesus and have wonderful experiences in him, you must meet him at the altar of sacrifice and sufferings.

The issue is close to home because of the recent death of my mother. I have a family member who has been estranged from most of the family most of his life, due to his own actions and choices in life. My mother's Memorial service and the family gathering that ensued was the perfect opportunity for reconciliation, yet he refused. He flew in bother before everyone arrived and then flew out, returning after nearly everyone had left, choosing to stay in the past rather than move on into maturity and wholeness. Fearing confrontation it was safer to avoid the issue, blaming others instead.

I know of a church that split because of the color of the carpeting. Another split because the new pastor moved the table with the communion cup and bread plate from in front of the pulpit to the side.

Though God is dealing with her a wife won't forgive her husband and work on their marriage because she might get hurt.

A teen won't work through his hurt over adoption and not being told that man was his grandfather but chooses to bury his grief in drugs and alcohol. The list goes on.

Where is the fear of God? It may well be true that people who back off of growth in Christ haven't had a full revelation of God, but it is also true that they decided to back away from the foundation of teachability as a person and the commitment to obey the Words of Jesus.

That is the way of discipleship, it's always new territory, sometimes painful, and certainly the issues loom large before us, yet like a brief gust of wind with no storm behind it, once through the 'gust', there is smoothness ahead. Going through the issue into wholeness is not as difficult as the bluster it puts up would seem to indicate.

We all know the term 'backsliding', but did you know that in it's context of Hosea 4:16 where the term is first seen, the word 'backsliding' does not mean someone moving backwards, but rather means a mule that sits down refusing to budge. The backwards movement is that of God moving on, yet the mule sits and refuses to budge, the backward movement relative to the owner of the mule continuing on his way.

So it is with the Lord...he is always trying to move us on, to grow us to the next level. Because human beings are multi-faceted we can move on in some areas and yet sit like a mule in other areas. From habits to lifestyle to the way we think, God wants to get involved and move us into maturity in Christ even if it means some birth pains now and then.

I've been thinking about the Laodicdean church in The Revelation 3:14-22. This is the one where Jesus told them they were lukewarm and he would spew them out of his mouth. As it relates to the discipleship process I've wondered what made them lukewarm. I believe it was that they were content with where they were in Christ.

Look at the evidence: They said they were rich, increased with goods (prosperity), needing nothing. Their Christian works (caring for one another, the sick, poor, and so forth) were only lukewarm. They were content with where they were in Christ. They were mules sitting on their rear ends refusing to move, happy with who they were in Christ. There was no burning in them to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings.

Yet Jesus said the reality was that they were naked (not righteous before him) and didn't know it. He threatened to expose their nakedness if they didn't repent.

This process of exposure happens all the time around us. When the Lord is trying to deal with an issue in someone's life and they refuse, their decision finally making them sit down like a mule or get up and move away or shut people off; reveals to everyone that they are not in a right heart or mind about a matter. Their actions reveal they are unrighteous-not right before God in this area, and everyone of a right heart and mind can see it.

Like the relative I described above, his actions reveal to everyone that he is not righteous in this area. That is one way the Lord 'reveals the shame of your nakedness'.

Like the wife who refused to forgive her husband from his affair (though she was equally guilty of the same offense), the nakedness eventually surfaced and sadly they divorced.

Like the Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert debacles of years ago, their unrighteousness in certain areas was revealed. Each had areas of sin they protected and sat like a mule on, while in other areas they moved on with God...finally the Lord had no choice but to expose the sin.

Like the churches that split because of carpet color or the moving of a table, the shame of their nakedness has been revealed for all to see.

When the Lord deals with us on any matter of the heart, it is an attempt to keep us righteous before him and moving into growth and maturity as individuals and Christians. This then is where the rubber meets the road. Will we keep our vow to God...that we are teachable and that we will obey the words of Jesus, or will we back off in this one area and sit down like a mule?

It seems all of the writings of the New Testament are instructions from leaders urging the disciples on towards maturity, on towards laying down our own thoughts and ways and entering into higher thoughts and ways, onwards to the crucifixion of our flesh.

There must be a need for all these instructions, there must be a huge tendency to sit like a mule in we human beings. However, let us renew our commitment to the Lord to first be teachable, and secondly having the desire to obey Christ and his Words, no matter the cost to our own ideas, thoughts, and emotions.

I close with a excerpts from a passage I've thought a great deal on recently from Philippians 3:9-16:

And be found in him, not having my own righteousness, but that which is through the faith of Christ. That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable to his death; if by any means I might attain to the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I have already attained, but I follow after, that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore as many as are mature, but thus minded: and if in any thing you be otherwise minded, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, for that which we have attained, let us walk in that, and let us mind the same thing."

Dying to be like Him,

John Fenn
cwowi.org