4/14/07, Why do we remember sins if they are forgiven?

Hi all,

I've been thinking on the question, If God forgives us, then why do we still remember our sins?

I have the hardest time forgiving myself - I can accept that God forgives me - but while He casts my sins into the sea of forgetfulness, I am left remembering in vivid detail, reliving over and over my error, and beating myself over the head, hating that part of myself until I grudgingly (emotionally) move on.

I've come to peace with that trait being a part of me - that I have a hard time forgiving myself, that I'm my own worst enemy - but I want to temper and mellow those effects.

So if the Lord forgives and then forgets my sin, why doesn't He just wipe my memory out too? There must be a reason, and that's what this is all about.

I need to (mentally through properly understanding scripture) be able to justify me forgiving myself. So here goes:

It appears Paul was his own worst enemy as well. Over a span of some 7 years his letters (4 of them) reveal that he had to deal with his past of persecuting the church - he remembered his past in detail and had to learn to deal with it.

In I Timothy 2:12-16 he called himself the chief of sinners (ie the worst) because he persecuted Christians. Persecuting Christians is the same as persecuting Jesus himself because we are his body, and it was to this end that Jesus stated to him on the road to Damascus encounter; "I am Jesus whom you are persecuting." Ouch!

Paul stated in the above passage he was saved so that "in me first Jesus Christ might show forth all long-suffering, for a pattern to them which will hereafter believe on him to life everlasting."

Vine's Dictionary of NT Words brings out the subtle difference between long-suffering and patience. He says that patience is (merely) remaining the same no matter the circumstance.

But of longsuffering he says: "Longsuffering is that quality of self-restraint in the face of provocation which does not hastily retaliate or promptly punish; it is the opposite of anger, and is associated with mercy, and is used of God."

By saying that Jesus Christ chose him to demonstrate a pattern of long-suffering for others, Paul was saying essentially that if God can forgive him, who openly tried to provoke Jesus because he persecuted His body, he will forgive anyone, for he, being THE persecutor of the body of Christ, was the worst of all sinners past, present, and future.

He made that statement in I Timothy in about the year 65. In the year 64, a year earlier, he wrote his most open and personal of letters to the Philippians. In 3:13 he said; "But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth to those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Prior to his statement of forgetting the past and reaching towards the future, about 5 years before in the year 59, Paul wrote I Corinthians, where he stated in 15:8-9 speaking of those who saw Jesus' ministry and resurrection appearances personally: "And last of all he was seen of me also, as one born out of due time. For I am the least of the apostles, because I persecuted the church of God."

I appreciate Paul's transparency about his past. Over the course of these three letters, some 6 years, he demonstrates he is still dealing with the memories of his past life, the hurt he caused, and the guilt he felt (feels).

When he uses the term 'born out of due time' in verse 8, he uses the Greek word "ektroma". The word ektroma is the word 'miscarriage' or 'abortion'. The English "born out of due time" just doesn't carry the weight of his statement.

The Greek Interlinear Bible: "...and lastly of all, even as if to an abortion, he was seen of me also."

That's strong. He isn't quite saying he wishes he was aborted instead of having been born, but he comes close. Have you ever felt that way? I hope not, but we've all probably questioned why we are here at one time or another. Paul felt it before you, and being a persecutor of the church, he was the chief of all sinners. Jesus chose to make an example out of him, demonstrating long-suffering (a refusal to be provoked).

There are times I feel I've provoked the Lord to the point I wonder how he can forgive, accept, or want me. From there my emotions spiral downward to discouragement and a general downer of a day(s).

I am encouraged Paul struggled with feelings that it may have been better off it he'd never been born because I can relate. I can see his life and know that even with internal struggles, he kept going, pressing toward the mark of the high calling in Christ.

Paul was very transparent and open in the sharing of his feelings concerning his past, and you can tell that while these issues were still in his memory and emotions, they didn't dominate him. I think he was able to share so openly not because it was fresh hurt, but rather because of the peace he'd found and written about still earlier, a year before he wrote about feeling like an abortion I Corinthians 15.

In Galatians 1:15-16 we see how he balanced his feelings that it would have been better had he been aborted with the fact that he was now an apostle in Christ:

"But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb (a full term live birth), and called me by his grace, to reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen..."

Paul reconciled his feelings against fact: He FELT like his life should have been aborted, but the FACT is that he was called by God for a purpose. He had to put down his feelings and change them to accept FACT.

He specifically mentioned that it please God to cause him to be born full term, alive.

You and I must say the same thing. We are here on this planet for a purpose - called by grace as was Paul - that his Son might be revealed in us.

My original question was, if God forgives us, then why do we still remember? Why did he leave Paul with all those memories of persecuting the body of Christ? What is the purpose?

I believe the purpose is for several reasons, the most important being that by leaving us with the memory we are constantly reminded of his grace, his purpose, his plans, and most of all his love for us. Even if we provoked him, he wants us to remember that provocation and how he responded in mercy instead of anger. In this way as Paul said; "we have this treasure in earth vessels that the excellency of the power be of him, not of us." (II Cor 4:7)

In each case he brought up his past, he also wrote about God's grace, mercy, and purpose for his life. When we beat ourselves over the head and struggle with forgiving ourselves, we must also bring up God's forgiveness and mercy and purpose for our lives - some of it yet to be revealed!

Another reason for remembering is that we won't make the same mistake again - or at least hopefully decrease the frequency of the sin over time, learning a little more with each failure, and each time remembering his mercy and grace and acceptance.

We remember these things not to bring us down, but to remind us of his love and mercy, and by seeing how he forgave us, we can forgive ourselves as well. It IS an effort. For me, I have to hear myself say out loud, "I forgive myself"...and I have to remind myself...and then I must purposely turn my attention to worship and prayer and praise...and that condemnation lifts.

I will close with these thoughts from II Timothy 1:9: "Who has saved us, and called us with a holy calling, not according to our efforts, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began."

He gave us salvation before the world began, or more accurately in the Greek; "before times eternal"...he knew what we would do and not do, and he saved us and made the decision to forgive us anyway. We must be like Paul and forget the past - learn the lessons - but press on in growth.

And lastly, Ephesians 2:6-7 "And (God the Father) has raised us up together and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; that in the ages to come he (the Father) might show us the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness towards us through Christ Jesus."

The Father and Jesus have saved us for good things "in the ages to come"...wow...that makes our little failures in this life pale by comparison...we must make the decision to forgive ourselves, put the emotions under, and become enthralled and regaled (once again) with his mercy, grace, and plans for us, both in this life, and in the ages to come!

 

Blessings,
John Fenn
www.ifaithhome.org